Since I’m still caught up in the previous post’s rampant jackassery, I thought for comparision purposes I would write out my idea of a true Christian husband.
A TRUE CHRISTIAN HUSBAND…
…is humble, respectful, approachable, and kind.
…is never domineering, bossy or tyrannical.
…realizes his position of greater spiritual responsibility in the household does not entitle him to demand anything.
…views his wife as an equal partner, not a subordinate.
…looks at his home not as “mine,” but “ours,” whether or not his wife works outside the house.
…does not demand that his wife work or not work. She is an adult, and that decision must be hers.
…asks or suggests, never dictates.
…knows that in today’s world, most of the time one person cannot provide the entire support for a household. If his wife earns more than him, he will rejoice in her competence and ability and will not get snippy or jealous. Her earning power has nothing to do with his masculinity.
…does not require his wife to sacrifice her dreams for the children.
…always consults his wife before a major decision.
…does not try to make his wife do anything she does not want to do.
…never forces his wife to have sex. Neither does he nag or bully her. Her honest “no” is always respected.
…realizes the best way to have a good sex life is to work on the other aspects of the marriage–affection, consideration, communication, mutual respect.
…does not divide the housework into Men’s Work and Women’s Work. It’s all work, and somebody has to do it.
…does not hold to rigid gender roles. If his wife does not like to cook, and he does, or if she likes to keep up the yard (or the car) and he does not, he will let each of them follow his/her natural path.
…will not sit on his ass in front of the TV and wait for his wife to cook and clean. If he sees a chore needs to be done, he will do it.
…will not demand that his wife have children. Some women are not cut out to be mothers. (I know; I’m one of them, and a kid would, frankly, make me miserable.) He will also not attempt to sabotage whatever method of birth control he and his wife have decided on.
…does not “babysit” his own child.
…seeks to be a parent, not a “helper.” Perhaps he could take paternity leave after his wife is finished with her maternity leave.
…is not so caught up in the role of “provider” (though that is necessary, and Scriptural) that his family never sees him. A forty-hour week is plenty. If the job requires more, perhaps the job should be re-evaluated.
…works with his wife so she can have a successful career along with motherhood, if this is what she wants to do.
…does not let his sons boss or bully their sisters.
…does not clamp down on his daughters while his sons get away with murder.
..makes sure even if/after children come along, his wife is his priority.
I’m sure I could, and will, think of more. But I cannot stand the notion–which I see far too often–that being a Christian husband means becoming some kind of headship-obsessed despot. That is not the way it should work, and if a man claims to be following Christ, he will not approach his marriage in such a manner.