This War is Over

Here’s my encounter with BlogWarBot, Chris Clarke’s sometimes repetitive insult machine.

BlogWarBot: I’m BlogWarBot. You have something to say we haven’t heard a thousand times before?
Guest: Don’t know. What have you heard a thousand times before?
BlogWarBot: You’re trolling me, aren’t you?
Guest: Maybe. What do you call trolling?
BlogWarBot: What are you, some kind of provocateur?
Guest: What are you, some kind of question disposal?
BlogWarBot: My being , some kind of question disposal or not is none of your business and irrelevant to ending the war.
Guest: Which war?
BlogWarBot: Typical. An expression of privileged ignorance.
Guest: Privileged according to whom?
BlogWarBot: You’re just jealous of the A-listers, aren’t you?
Guest: What A-listers?
BlogWarBot: Maybe you should ask yourself that.
Guest: Ooh! I’m an A-lister!
BlogWarBot: Do you recognize the privilege involved in your calling yourself an A-lister?
Guest: Privileged compared to what?
BlogWarBot: I see porn is easier to deal with for feminists today than d compared to what
Guest: We’re not talking about porn.
BlogWarBot: Your keyboard says ‘no,’ but your eyes say ‘I’m a big ol’ troll.’
Guest: How do you know what my eyes look like?
BlogWarBot: Why don’t you ask your Mom when she brings you milk and cookies down there in her basement?
Guest: What basement?
BlogWarBot: What are you, some kind of provocateur?
Guest: That’s the second time you’ve said that!!
BlogWarBot: You’re projecting. And in denial. And ugly.
Guest: So??
BlogWarBot: So if I might ask, what’s your take on that last blog spat?
Guest: Which one? They happen a thousand times a day.
BlogWarBot: O HAI U CAN GRO BRANE? KTHX ^..^
Guest: O HEY CAN YOU BUY DICTIONARY? THANKS
BlogWarBot: You want me to BUY DICTIONARY? THANKS for YOU?
Guest: Sure! You even learned how to work the CAPS KEY!!
BlogWarBot: What, Malkin didn’t cover this on Hot Air?
Guest: We’re not talking about Malkin!
BlogWarBot: Lemme guess. You’re a Libertarian.
Guest: Give me Liberty or give me Death!!
BlogWarBot: So what does all of this have to do with the current mass extinction?
Guest: You mean the human one?
BlogWarBot: Stop placing your oppressive expectations on me!
Guest: You’re oppressed! I feel so SORRY for you!
BlogWarBot: You keep using that word oppressed! you feel so SORRY for BlogWarBot. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Guest: What’s it mean, then?
BlogWarBot: Maybe you should ask yourself that.
Guest: That’s the second time you’ve said that, too!!
BlogWarBot: We can talk about me later. Now back to your inferiority to me…
Guest: Inferior to a collection of electricity and pixels?
BlogWarBot: I’m not sure I understand how you managed to log on successfully.
Guest: I dunno. Those little invisible mice just get the job done!
BlogWarBot: Robin Morgan used that in a poem once. But you knew that, you damn plagiarist.
Guest: Who’s Robin Morgan?
BlogWarBot: What are you, some kind of provocateur?
Guest: THIRD TIME’S THE CHARM!
BlogWarBot: So what does all of this have to do with the current mass extinction?
Guest: SECOND TIME AROUND…YOU’RE RUNNING OUT OF INSULTS
BlogWarBot: Typical. An expression of privileged ignorance.
Guest: You’ve repeated yourself three times in a row!
BlogWarBot: Why are men always so concerned about my self three times in a row?
Guest: Who says I’m a man?
BlogWarBot: Do you recognize the privilege involved in your calling yourself a man?
Guest: Heh heh! You wanna give me your penis?
BlogWarBot: And it IS my penis, so keep your hands and eyes and laws off it, pig.
Guest: Hey, that’s how we keep abortion permanently legal! Threaten to take the penis in exchange!
BlogWarBot: What are you, some kind of provocateur?
Guest: Okay, “bored now,” as Willow said. Over and out.

Of course, you could go on forever, but eventually it becomes pointless…almost as pointless as talking to some guys.

(Actually, whoever programmed this has obviously taken a page from some anti-choicer’s handbook.)

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